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BECAUSE I AM A MAN
Because I am a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
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Because I am a man, when the car is not running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I am looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start.? We will then drink a couple of beers as a form of Holy Communion.
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Because I am a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You are a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
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Because I am a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu.? For all I know, these are the same thing.
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Because I am a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator
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Because I am a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I do not need to see it. In addition, do not forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
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Because I am a man, you do not have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you are crying at the end of it, I did not....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
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Because I am a man, I think what you are wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I will do the rest...... like wandering around in the yard wondering what to do.
_______________________________________
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
Because I am a man, when I lock my keys in the car, I will fiddle with a coat hanger long after hypothermia has set in. Calling AAA is not an option. I will win.
_____________________________________
Because I am a man, when the car is not running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I am looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, "I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn't know where to start.? We will then drink a couple of beers as a form of Holy Communion.
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, when I catch a cold, I need someone to bring me soup and take care of me while I lie in bed and moan. You are a woman. You never get as sick as I do, so for you, this is no problem.
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, I can be relied upon to purchase basic groceries at the store, like milk or bread. I cannot be expected to find exotic items like "cumin" or "tofu.? For all I know, these are the same thing.
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, when one of our appliances stops working, I will insist on taking it apart, despite evidence that this will just cost me twice as much once the repair person gets here and has to put it back together.
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, I must hold the television remote control in my hand while I watch TV. If the thing has been misplaced, I may miss a whole show looking for it.....though one time I was able to survive by holding a calculator
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, I do not want to visit your mother, or have your mother come visit us, or talk to her when she calls, or think about her any more than I have to. Whatever you got her for Mother's Day is okay; I do not need to see it. In addition, do not forget to pick up something for my mother, too.
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, you do not have to ask me if I liked the movie. Chances are, if you are crying at the end of it, I did not....and if you are feeling amorous afterwards....then I will certainly at least remember the name and recommend it to others.
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, I think what you are wearing is fine. I thought what you were wearing five minutes ago was fine, too. Either pair of shoes is fine. With the belt or without it, looks fine. Your hair is fine. You look fine. Can we just go now?
_______________________________________
Because I am a man, and this is, after all, the year 2006, I will share equally in the housework. You just do the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, the vacuuming, and the dishes, and I will do the rest...... like wandering around in the yard wondering what to do.
_______________________________________
This has been a public service message for women to better understand men.
