Retirement - ATV Nation

Retirement And They Ask Why I Like Retirement!

#1
Jackson

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Posted 23 January 2007 - 09:33 AM

Question: How many days in a week?
Answer: 6 Saturdays, 1 Sunday

Question: When is a retiree's bedtime?
Answer: Three hours after he falls asleep on the couch.

Question: How many retirees to change a light bulb?
Answer: Only one, but it might take all day.

Question: What's the biggest gripe of retirees?
Answer: There is not enough time to get everything done.

Question: Why don't retirees mind being called Seniors?
Answer: The term comes with a 10% percent discount.

Question: Among retirees what is considered formal attire?
Answer: Tied shoes.

Question: Why do retirees count pennies?
Answer: They are the only ones who have the time.

Question: What is the common term for someone who enjoys work and refuses
to retire?
Answer: NUTS!

Question: Why are retirees so slow to clean out the basement, attic or
garage?
Answer: They know that as soon as they do, one of their adult kids will
want to store stuff there.
Question: What do retirees call a long lunch?
Answer: Normal.

Question: What is the best way to describe retirement?
Answer: The never ending Coffee Break.

Question: What's the biggest advantage of going back to school as a
retiree?
Answer: If you cut classes, no one calls your parents.

Question: Why does a retiree often say he doesn't miss work, but misses the
people he used to work with?
Answer: He is too polite to tell the whole truth.

My favorite one:

QUESTION: What do you do all week?
Answer: Monday to Friday, Nothing. Saturday & Sunday I rest!

05 Suzuki King Quad 700
Whiskey is the answer, who cares what the question is!

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#2
oldmancrash

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Posted 23 January 2007 - 07:50 PM

I do believe I have heard everyone of them at one time or another from retired people.

#3
Guest_Rockwoman_*

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Posted 27 January 2007 - 10:14 AM

Hi Jackson, When are we going riding Mr. Retirement? I'm getting a new quad in a week. Jumping ship on Susuki. Found some quotes on retirement. Thought you might not have heard them all. Rockwoman

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off. ~Abe Lemons

When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. ~R.C. Sherriff

I'm retired - goodbye tension, hello pension! ~Author Unknown

Retirement is wonderful. It's doing nothing without worrying about getting caught at it. ~Gene Perre

Rest is not idleness, and to lie sometimes on the grass under trees on a summer's day, listening to the murmur of the water, or watching the clouds float across the sky, is by no means a waste of time. ~J. Lubbock

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. ~Author Unknown

Don't simply retire from something; have something to retire to. ~Harry Emerson Fosdick

Half our life is spent trying to find something to do with the time we have rushed through life trying to save. ~Will Rogers, Autobiography,

Age is only a number, a cipher for the records. A man can't retire his experience. He must use it. ~Bernard Baruch

Retire from work, but not from life. ~M.K. Soni

I enjoy waking up and not having to go to work. So I do it three or four times a day. ~Gene Perret

Retirement at sixty-five is ridiculous. When I was sixty-five I still had pimples. ~George Burns

Youth would be an ideal state if it came a little later in life. ~Herbert Asqui

Retirement: That's when you return from work one day and say, "Hi, Honey, I"m home - forever." ~Gene Perret