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BLONDE LOGIC
>
>Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
>blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or
>the moon?"
>
>The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
>
>
>
>CAR TROUBLE
>
>A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
>
>After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
>
>She says, "What's the story?"
>
>He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
>
>She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
>
>
>SPEEDING TICKET
>
>A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
>could see her license.
>
>She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
>yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it
>to you!"
>
>
>
>RIVER WALK
>
>There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
>blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
>other side?"
>
>The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
>"You ARE on the other side."
>
>
>
>AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
>
>A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
>body hurt wherever she touched it.
>
>"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
>
>The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then
>she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
>screamed;
>
>likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her
>scream.
>
>The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
>
>"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
>
>"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
>
>
>
>KNITTING
>
>A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
>Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
>wheel was knitting!
>
>Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
>trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL
>OVER!"
>
>"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>
>
>
>BLONDE ON THE SUN
>
>A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
>said, "We were the first in space!"
>
>The American said, "We w ere the first on the moon!"
>
>T he Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
>
>The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
>"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
>
>To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
>night!"
>
>
>
>IN A VACUUM
>
>A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
>the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are
>in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
>
>She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
>
>
>FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>
>A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
>asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
>was named
>
>Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone
>naming dogs like that?"
>
>"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
>
>
>
>
>
>
>Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one
>blonde says to the other, "Which do you think is farther away... Florida or
>the moon?"
>
>The other blonde turns and says "Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????"
>
>
>
>CAR TROUBLE
>
>A blonde pushes her BMW into a gas station. She tells the mechanic it died.
>
>After he works on it for a few minutes, it is idling smoothly.
>
>She says, "What's the story?"
>
>He replies, "Just crap in the carburetor"
>
>She asks, "How often do I have to do that?"
>
>
>
>SPEEDING TICKET
>
>A police officer stops a blonde for speeding and asks her very nicely if he
>could see her license.
>
>She replied in a huff, "I wish you guys would get your act together. Just
>yesterday you take away my license and then today you expect me to show it
>to you!"
>
>
>
>RIVER WALK
>
>There's this blonde out for a walk. She comes to a river and sees another
>blonde on the opposite bank. "Yoo-hoo!" she shouts, "How can I get to the
>other side?"
>
>The second blonde looks up the river then down the river and shouts back,
>"You ARE on the other side."
>
>
>
>AT THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE
>
>A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her
>body hurt wherever she touched it.
>
>"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
>
>The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then
>she pushed her elbow and screamed even more. She pushed her knee and
>screamed;
>
>likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her
>scream.
>
>The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
>
>"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
>
>"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."
>
>
>
>KNITTING
>
>A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway.
>Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the
>wheel was knitting!
>
>Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the
>trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL
>OVER!"
>
>"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"
>
>
>
>BLONDE ON THE SUN
>
>A Russian, an American, and a Blonde were talking one day. The Russian
>said, "We were the first in space!"
>
>The American said, "We w ere the first on the moon!"
>
>T he Blonde said, "So what? We're going to be the first on the sun!"
>
>The Russian and the American looked at each other and shook their heads.
>"You can't land on the sun, you idiot! You'll burn up!" said the Russian.
>
>To which the Blonde replied, "We're not stupid, you know. We're going at
>night!"
>
>
>
>IN A VACUUM
>
>A blonde was playing Trivial Pursuit one night. It was her turn. She rolled
>the dice and she landed on Science & Nature. Her question was, "If you are
>in a vacuum and someone calls your name, can you hear it?"
>
>She thought for a time and then asked, "Is it on or off?"
>
>
>
>FINALLY, THE BLONDE JOKE TO END ALL BLONDE JOKES!
>
>A girl was visiting her blonde friend, who had acquired two new dogs, and
>asked her what their names were. The blonde responded by saying that one
>was named
>
>Rolex and one was named Timex. Her friend said, "Whoever heard of someone
>naming dogs like that?"
>
>"HELLLOOOOOOO......," answered the blond. "They're watch dogs!"
>
>
>
>
>
