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CHANGING A LIGHT BULB THE CHRISTIAN WAY
Charismatic: Only 1. Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change
and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about
how much better the old one was.
Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need
for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that
light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a
modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which
we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are
equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved.
You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of
your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
Charismatic: Only 1. Hands are already in the air.
Pentecostal: 10
One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.
Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.
Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.
Baptists: At least 15.
One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change
and decide who brings the potato salad and fried chicken.
Episcopalians: 3
One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about
how much better the old one was.
Mormons: 5
One man to change the bulb, and four wives to tell him how to do it.
Unitarians:
We choose not to make a statement either in favor of or against the need
for a light bulb. However, if in your own journey you have found that
light bulbs work for you, you are invited to write a poem or compose a
modern dance about your light bulb for the next Sunday service, in which
we will explore a number of light bulb traditions, including
incandescent, fluorescent, 3-way, long-life and tinted, all of which are
equally valid paths to luminescence.
Methodists: Undetermined
Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved.
You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Bring a bulb of
your choice to the Sunday lighting service and a covered dish to pass.
Nazarene: 6
One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.
Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.
Amish: What's a light bulb?
