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She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under
the watchful eyes
of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times
before.
After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little
one
said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper
good-bye!"
******************
My young grandson called the other day
to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him,
"62."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at
1?"
**********************
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a
well groomed grandmother
changed into old sacky sweats, removed her makeup
and proceeded to wash
her hair. As she heard the children getting more and
more rambunctious,
her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel
around her head and
stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with
stern warnings.
As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with
a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
***************************
A
grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood
was
like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from
a
tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked
wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this
all in. At last she said, "I
sure wish I'd gotten to know you
sooner!"
*************************
When my grandson Billy and I
entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to
keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The
mosquitoes are coming after us
with flashlights."
***** *******
************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says
I'm four to six."
***************************** *
A second grader
came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We
learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "how do
you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to
'i' and add
'es'."
***************************
Children's
Logic:
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The
small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher
took the lad aside to correct him.
"Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a
child."
*************************
A nursery school teacher was
delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck
zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck
was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep
crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another, "he's just for good
luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close.
"They use the
dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire
hydrants
the watchful eyes
of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times
before.
After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little
one
said, "But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper
good-bye!"
******************
My young grandson called the other day
to wish me Happy Birthday. He
asked me how old I was, and I told him,
"62."
He was quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at
1?"
**********************
After putting her grandchildren to bed, a
well groomed grandmother
changed into old sacky sweats, removed her makeup
and proceeded to wash
her hair. As she heard the children getting more and
more rambunctious,
her patience grew thin. Finally, she threw a towel
around her head and
stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with
stern warnings.
As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say with
a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
***************************
A
grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own childhood
was
like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a swing made from
a
tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard. We rode our pony. We picked
wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this
all in. At last she said, "I
sure wish I'd gotten to know you
sooner!"
*************************
When my grandson Billy and I
entered our vacation cabin, we kept the
lights off until we were inside to
keep from attracting pesky insects.
Still, a few fireflies followed us in.
Noticing them before I did, Billy
whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The
mosquitoes are coming after us
with flashlights."
***** *******
************
When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm not sure."
"Look in your underwear, Grandpa," he advised. "Mine says
I'm four to six."
***************************** *
A second grader
came home from school and said to her grandmother,
"Grandma, guess what? We
learned how to make babies today."
The grandmother, more than a little
surprised, tried to keep her cool.
"That's interesting," she said, "how do
you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to
'i' and add
'es'."
***************************
Children's
Logic:
"Give me a sentence about a public servant," said a teacher.
The
small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher
took the lad aside to correct him.
"Don't you know what pregnant means?" she
asked.
"Sure," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a
child."
*************************
A nursery school teacher was
delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck
zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the truck
was a Dalmatian dog.
The children started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep
crowds back," said one child.
"No," said another, "he's just for good
luck."
A third child brought the argument to a close.
"They use the
dogs," she said firmly, "to find the fire
hydrants
to my day. Thanks.
