[X] My Assistant

[pjohns]

I had eighteen bottles of whiskey in my cellar and was told by my
wife to empty the contents of each and every bottle down the sink, or
else... I said I would and proceeded with the unpleasant task. I
withdrew the cork from the first bottle and poured the contents down the
sink with the exception of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the
cork from the second bottle and did likewise with it, with the exception
of one glass, which I drank. I then withdrew the cork from the third
bottle and poured the whiskey down the sink which I drank. I pulled the
cork from the fourth bottle down the sink and poured the bottle down the
glass, which I drank. I pulled the bottle from the cork of the next and
drank one sink out of it, and threw the rest down the glass. I pulled the
sink out of the next glass and poured the cork down the bottle. Then I
corked the sink with the glass, bottled the drink and drank the pour.
When I had everything emptied, I steadied the house with one hand, counted
the glasses, corks, bottles, and sinks with the other, which were
twenty-nine, and as the houses came by I counted them again, and finally I
had all the houses in one bottle, which I drank. I'm not under the
affluence of incohol as some thinkle peep I am. I'm not half as thunk as
you might drink. I fool so feelish I don't know who is me, and the
drunker I stand here, the longer I get.

[Jkane13]

Wow! That brings back memories. I can't even recall who wrote that. I do remember listening to it on a record as a kid. It was called 10 little bottles. Same start basiclly, but the ending was a little different. Seems like it ended with more of a comment to the wife and not just a drunk at the end.

[oldmancrash]

[mrextreme]

Yes I think I remember a few of those at the last ride

[Jkane13]

Google is amazing! Just a couple lines down, and there were the lyrics. It was Johnny Bond. I can still hear his voice "singing" this ballad.

Ten Little Bottles

A friend of mine gave me ten little bottles
Of some special stuff that he brewed up his-self
So I took it and hid it down in my basement
But my wife found out about it and she told me to get rid of it or else
And since I didn't like the way she said or else
I went down there and proceeded to carry out her instructions

I sat the ten little bottles on the drainboard
Picked up the first bottle, pulled the cork out of it
And poured it down the sink
That is, um, all except one little swallow - which I drank

I picked up the next bottle and I pulled the cork out of it
And poured it down the sink
All except one little swallow - which I drank

I picked up the next bottle and I pulled the sink out of it
And I poured it down the cork
All except one little swallow - which I drank

I picked up the next cork and I pulled the bottle out of it
And I poured it down the sink
All except one little drink - which I drank

I picked up the next sink and I pulled the cork out of it
And I poured it down the bottle
All except one little swallow - which I sank

I picked up the next drink and I pulled the swallow out of it
And I poured it down the sink
All except one little drink - I think

Well anyway by this time it's plain to see
That them little bottles of mine, let's see now
How many bottles have I got left - which I drank

Now I'm askin' you wasn't that a awful thing for my wife to make me do
Bless her little heart, bl-less her little heart, I'm tellin' ya one thing
You better not say nothin' against my wife buster
'Cause I'll have you know, I'll - have - you - know
That I've got da wifest little nice you ever saw in your [hicc]
Which I drank