[X] My Assistant

[dipstick]

Beware of the spoon the next time you order soup.

A lesson on how consultants can make a difference in an organization. Last week, we took some friends to a new restaurant, 'Steve's Place,' and noticed the waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket.

It seemed a little strange. When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I observed he also had a spoon in his shirt pocket. I looked around and saw all the staff had spoons in their pockets. When the waiter came back to serve our soup I inquired, 'Why the spoon?'

'Well, 'he explained, 'the restaurant's owner hired Andersen Consulting to revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save 15 man-hours per shift.'

As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he replaced it with his spare. 'I'll get another spoon the next time I go to the kitchen instead of making an extra trip to get it right now.' I was impressed. I also noticed a string hanging out of the waiter's fly.

Looking around, I saw all the waiters had the same string hanging from their flies. Before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'

'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant. That consulting firm I mentioned also learned we can save time in the restroom. By tying this string to the tip of our you-know-what, we can pull it out without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the time spent in the restroom by 76.39%.

I asked quietly, 'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
Are you ready for this?

'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'

[steelrunner83]

Dude thats gross, ha but funny!