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THE BLONDE MORTICIAN

#1 User is offline   HANMAL 


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Posted 20 April 2009 - 09:11 AM

A man who just died is delivered to a local mortuary wearing an expensive, expertly tailored black suit.

The female blonde mortician asks the deceased's wife how she would like the body dressed. She points out that the man does look good in the black suit he is already wearing.

The widow, however, says that she always thought her husband looked his best in blue, and that she wants him in a blue suit. She gives the Blonde mortician a blank check and says, 'I don't care what it costs, but please have my husband in a blue suit for the viewing.'

The woman returns the next day for the wake. To her delight, she finds her husband dressed in a gorgeous blue suit with a subtle chalk stripe; the suit fits him perfectly .

She says to the mortician, 'Whatever this cost, I'm very satisfied. You did an excellent job and I'm very grateful. How much did you spend?' To her astonishment, the blonde mortician presents her with the blank check.

'There's no charge,' she says.

'No, really, I must compensate you for the cost of that exquisite blue suit!' she says.

'Honestly, ma'am,' the blonde says, 'it cost nothing. You see, a deceased gentleman of about your husband's size was brought in shortly after you left yesterday, and he was wearing an attractive blue suit. I asked his wife if she minded him going to his grave wearing a black suit instead, and she said it made no difference as long as he looked nice.'

'So I just switched the heads.'

(BET YOU DIDN'T SEE THAT COMIN!!!)





#2 User is offline   bbyton 


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Posted 20 April 2009 - 09:37 AM

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2007 Silverado 1500 Classic LS Ext. Cab
2005 Polaris 600 Twin, my ride...........
2006 Polaris Hawkeye, daughters ride............
Custom built 2 place Toy Hauler equipped with tie downs.


The daughter needs gas..............

"No ATV's were ever harmed while in my care........... The bird on the other hand... Well, lets just say that Megan and her ATV are OK..........."

#3 User is offline   dipstick 


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Posted 20 April 2009 - 09:41 AM

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Only 2 defining forces died for you-Jesus Christ & the American Soldier. 1 died for your soul, the other for your freedom.

Life Isn't About Waiting For The Storm To Pass. . . It's Learning How To Dance In The Rain!!!

I sometimes watch birds and wonder "If I could fly who would I s#*t on?"

If You Choose To Ride Without A Helmet, Please Be Sure Your Organ Donor Card Is Signed

WisDNR ATV Safety Instructor

Get Ready For The 2nd Annual US Marine Corps Foundation/ATV Nation Toys For Tots Ride October 22/23, 2010

#4 User is offline   Wild1 


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Posted 20 April 2009 - 12:11 PM

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06 Outlander 400 Max XT in Green
Tamarack Rear Cargo Box
Duro Power Grips

Happiness is riding! Great riding is having good friends join you.

#5 User is offline   ponyboy 


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Posted 17 May 2009 - 11:12 AM

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see ya on the trail

mid-ga. dirt dobbers

#6 User is offline   P-Dogg 


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Posted 18 May 2009 - 07:00 AM

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Talladega, AL
Possum Patrol

2008 TeamGreen BF 750
Warn 3.0 XT
ITP SS108's (Black)
25" Maxxis Bighorns
HL Penlock
Ricochet Skid Plates
A3 Spider Grips
TwinAir Air Filter
J&T Temp guage
Full Muzzy
Muzzy Digituner


2009 TTR 230 - Mine
2003 TTR 125 - Biggin's
2003 KLX 110 - Mallory
2006 TTR 50 - Macy

#7 User is offline   STiCK 


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Posted 18 May 2009 - 08:38 AM

That was a good one! Even my sister (Blonde) found it pretty humorous . . . tu2.gif
Honda '01 300EX
HMF exhaust w' jet kit
TwinAir Filter
Baja Swing-Arm & Full Chasis Skids
Maxxis Razrs
ITP Beadlocks
Factory 909 Bars
ProGrips
Mod. Sleaves for Exhaust, Clutch & Brake Lines
Mod. Engition Switch

Kawasaki 2003 Prairie 650 4x4
ITP C-series type-5 wheels with Maxxis Big Horn radial ties
Spider Grips A-3
Factory front and rear rack extensions
Full Ricochet skid plate system
TwinAir Filter
Warn Winch 3.0 XT
Dalton Clutch Springs Upgrade
Moose Module
DynaJet Kit
High-Lifter Pen Lock
Good~Year Gatorback CVT drive belt

Polaris '98 Sportsman 500
Only Stocked per "The G"

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