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1. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken here? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
going to look up there anyway?
8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't
he just buy dinner?
10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables
then what is baby oil made from?
12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Baa, Baa,
Black Sheep have the same tune?
14. Stop singing and read on..........
15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
18. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address in the first
place?
and the best for last....... rof1 rof1
Tim Allen, comedian, had this to say about Martha Stewart:
"Boy, I really feel safer now that Martha's behind bars. O.J. and Kobe and
Osama BinLaden are walking around, but they take the one woman in America
willing to cook and clean and work in the yard...and haul her ### to jail."
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"
2. Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken here? I'm gonna eat
the next thing that comes outta it's butt."
3. Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
4. If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
5. Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
6. Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't
point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
7. Why does your OB-GYN leave the room when you get undressed if they are
going to look up there anyway?
8. Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
9. If Wile E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that Acme stuff, why didn't
he just buy dinner?
10. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
11. If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables
then what is baby oil made from?
12. If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
13 Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star and Baa, Baa,
Black Sheep have the same tune?
14. Stop singing and read on..........
15. Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
16. Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
17. Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
18. Do you ever wonder why you gave me your email address in the first
place?
and the best for last....... rof1 rof1
Tim Allen, comedian, had this to say about Martha Stewart:
"Boy, I really feel safer now that Martha's behind bars. O.J. and Kobe and
Osama BinLaden are walking around, but they take the one woman in America
willing to cook and clean and work in the yard...and haul her ### to jail."
