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Southern lawyers
>> >
>> >Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
>> >for
>> >the
>> >answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called
>> >his
>> >first
>> >witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
>> >
>> >He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She
>> >responded,
>> >"Why,
>> >yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young
> boy,
>> >and
>> >frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
> your
>> >wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
>> >think
>> >you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
>> >amount
>> >to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
>> >
>> >The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
> the
>> >room
>> >and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again
>> >replied,
>> >"Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too.
>> >He's
>> >lazy,
>> >bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
>> >relationship
>> >with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
>> >state.
>> >Not
>> >to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of
>> >them
>> >was
>> >your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.
>> >
>> >The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
> quiet
>> >voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll
>> >throw
>> >your sorry asses in jail for contempt."
>>
>>
>> >
>> >Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
>> >for
>> >the
>> >answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney called
>> >his
>> >first
>> >witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
>> >
>> >He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?" She
>> >responded,
>> >"Why,
>> >yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a young
> boy,
>> >and
>> >frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on
> your
>> >wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You
>> >think
>> >you're a big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will
>> >amount
>> >to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
>> >
>> >The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
> the
>> >room
>> >and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?" She again
>> >replied,
>> >"Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too.
>> >He's
>> >lazy,
>> >bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal
>> >relationship
>> >with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire
>> >state.
>> >Not
>> >to mention he cheated on his wife with three different women. One of
>> >them
>> >was
>> >your wife. Yes, I know him." The defense attorney almost died.
>> >
>> >The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
> quiet
>> >voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me, I'll
>> >throw
>> >your sorry asses in jail for contempt."
>>
>>
