[X] My Assistant

[Kuntry]

So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of
humor.... The following were taken off of actual police car videos
around the country.

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll
stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, or I'll make your
birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1,200 feet per second? In
case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet
fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means
I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor, but
I don't think it will help. Oh .. did I mention that I am the shift
supervisor?"

#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do
that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine
whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a
place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in
monkey $#*!."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a
toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We used to
have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we
want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good
personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post
your bail."

and the best one . .
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#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets?
....... You're right, we don't. .. Sign here."

[BossMan]

So you thought police officers didn't have a sense of
    humor.... The following were taken off of actual police car videos
    around the country.

      #4 "Just how big were those two beers?"   

 

<{POST_SNAPBACK}>

It's always a couple of beers. #1 answer when they are asked how many